I did not disappoint.

Last night was WILD! It started off normal enough, Mere, her friend Amanda, and I rode the bus over to the cook off, we went straight to our booth and started throwing ’em back. From across the room I saw my uncle giving my cousin something, I was curious so I went over to check it out. I got all excited because I saw that he had a crown royal bag full of jello shots and stupid me, I thought that was the good stuff. He handed her a glass of clear liquid and then walked off.
“Hey, hey, what’s that?” I asked.
“Moonshine!” my cousin said.
“Moonshine? What is this the 20s?” I said.
“Apparently…want some?” she asked, I shook my head.
A few seconds later my uncle came with a glass of clear liquid for me and my friends. He looked at me very seriously and said, “Do not drink this by yourself! You have to share, this shit can kick your ass.” I grinned, kissed him on the cheek and took my glass.
We shared that one between the five of us, it was delicious, coconut flavored and smooth, not what I expected moonshine to be like. This was the point that we started to get shit faced!

After sharing about five more glasses of moonshine I decided that I must find Trish so I went outside and started the argument with my new phone (note to self: never try out a new phone when you know you will be drunk, it does not make it any easier to figure it out), after about 10 minutes of screwing with the damn thing I texted her, she texted me back, she found the booth and I got her and Kenny and their friends in. I was so glad that we met up because I always hate it when I hear about people coming to the cook off and having to pay (gasp!) for beer, I couldn’t let her pay for beer.

We all went inside and they got some food and drinks and I hooked them up with jello shots and moonshine (at least I’m pretty sure I did, I vaguely remember giving them a glass of moonshine, if I didn’t I’m sorry Trish because I should have). We hung out for a while, I have no idea of how long it actually was, but then I decided that we MUST ride the giant slide. I rode it last year when I was wasted and said we had to do it every year so I rallied the troops, which took like an hour, and we were off to the slide. One of my friends stopped to talk to someone and was taking forever and Trish and crew needed to get going so they never got to ride the slide 😦 but apparently got a funnel cake, which really is almost as good as riding the slide but we missed them.

When we finally started walking again some totally random guy came up to me and gave me a rose and asked me to kiss his lottery ticket, I’m pretty sure I licked it for him and then took his number, he was gross and I immediately threw it away but it was funny.

We finally made it to the slide and my friend Wayne had to buy more tickets so while we were waiting we were all talking and next thing I know Mere and Amanda are gone. I called her and she said something about having to get on the bus and they were late, I’m not really sure but pretty much they left me like total whores. I said fuck it and Wayne assured me he’d take me home (he’s my oldest brother’s friend so he’s like a brother to me too) so we rode the slide, which totally rocked, and then headed back to the booth. By now its 11:45 pm and the cook off ends at midnight so everyone left was mostly sponsors and their families. I’m totally going to skim over this part because it is way too long and I don’t remember most of the details but my cousin Lindy’s boyfriend got mad at me because she got a jello shot from me and was supposed to be driving (I didn’t know this, I was too drunk to hear anything) and then they got into a huge fight (they’re kind of country) in front of everyone. Long story short, he apologized to me which is awesome because I really do like him and they made up and everyone was happy by the end of the night.

After all the drama we decide it is time to go and my parents were still there so my parents, Wayne, his girlfriend (whom I also love) and I started walking to the exit. My parents ended up catching a cab back to their car at the bus stop so I rode with them. Earlier sometime, I’m not sure when, I called Mere to check on her and she was supposed to be at the parking lot so I told her to get in her car and go to sleep and that I would be there to drive her home (I had stopped drinking awhile ago, although I do know that I was no where near sober). So, after we got in the cab I tried to call her again to make sure she found her car, when I got through to her somehow she was on the bus again. Apparently, she got on the wrong bus to begin with and decided after she couldn’t find her car to take another bus only now she didn’t know where she was. After lots of yelling at her and talking to the bus driver we found out that she was in a rough part of town. This really scared the shit out of me because Mere is wonderful but she is very obviously “taken care of” and would be an easy target for a mugger. The cab dropped us off at my dad’s truck and my mom drove to the “bad part of town” to get her, we picked her up in the middle of the street, she was scared shitless and told us about how some ghetto chick wanted to fight them after they offered her a jello shot (I’m not sure how she got a bag of jello shots on the bus, totally illegal). So, my parents dropped us off at Mere’s car and I was driving the literally, 1 mile to my mom’s house. We made it 1/4 of a mile and Amanda hurled, luckily Mere knows her friend and I had enough warning to stop the car just in time for her to open the door. We made it home at 3 am and Mere passed out on the floor in my room, Amanda spent the night too so I ended up on the couch. I was beyond tired and still a little drunk this morning when I got up so I had to wait to drive home till later. Right now, I’m fairly exhausted but it was so worth it because I had a lot of fun.

Note to my readers: I am only this trashy and country once a year.


Translation of previous post.

So, yeah, I was drunk last night and seriously thought that post was understandable. Now I will translate for you and give further details of my night.
We got going late last night, it was 8:30 pm before we even got to the cook off and the cook off shuts down at midnight so we had to make up for our lack of time. I’m going to write things as I remember them so it might not make a lot of sense.
Our bus driver was freakin‘ hilarious, she kept hitting cones that were knocked over and then she said something about not being able to see something, at this point we hadn’t had anything to drink but were still very amused by this, not scared at all…lol. We got off the bus and had to walk through the carnival to the cook off, within 5 minutes of exiting the bus my feet were killing me. I was dumb enough to wear boots that I hadn’t broken in yet, by the end of the night I recall asking someone to cut my feet off with a chainsaw. This morning I have 8 ginormous blisters and they’re the kind that are so deep that it’ll take months to get rid of them….fun. The moment my feet started hurting I knew that my goal of the night was to drink so much that I wouldn’t feel my feet, for the most part I succeeded. We started off the night at my Dad’s booth, ate a little BBQ and drank beer (I drank margaritas, I don’t drink beer) and had our first jello shot of the night. Three jello shots later and a few margaritas later we headed to another booth, some guy that Ashley met (Ashley is Mere’s best friend and she’s super nice and funny) gave us all passes to get in, we didn’t stay long though, it was too civil at that booth. So we headed back to Prime Time Cookers (my Dad’s booth) drank some more, hung out with my pervy uncle and he gave us more jello shots, I’m pretty sure the jello shots are what got me, I really didn’t drink too many margaritas. After we left there we met up with Ashley’s parents and they offered to drive us back instead of having to take the bus, once we made it to our car we decided that we needed to go to a bar, some new one that a friend of Mere’s opened up. Long story short, we couldn’t find it so we went home instead. I was in bed at 1:30 am like a good little girl and my husband made me promise to be more wild tonight. I know one thing though, tonight I am riding the giant slide, I forgot to last night.

Lunch with my posse!

Today I went to lunch with Mere, food is one of my favorite parts about coming to Houston. I went to Amazon Grill today and got an amazing grilled chicken and avocado sandwich, I was in heaven. Tonight I’m having world famous barbecue for dinner and tomorrow I want to try and squeeze in Pico’s, which is literally the best Mexican food ever, for lunch, mmmmm fajitas!
Well, I need to go get ready to go out tonight, so I’ll try to get on when I get home and blog.
Is there such a thing as drunk blogging? Maybe I’ll start a trend…lol.

Trish, if the girls like the carnival you should buy some of the half price tickets and save them for later. J and I are going to spend all day on March 20-something (whatever day Pat Green is playing) at the carnival with the kids, we could meet up and let the kids meet and ride rides and laugh at people, it’ll be fun.

What A Blast!

So, tonight I took the kids to the cook off, tomorrow and Saturday will be kid free, and Meredith (my bestest cousin in the whole wide world) and I decided to take the kids on a few rides since they were behaving so well (not really well but they were being cute so people pardoned their behavior). I bought like a gazillion tickets because they are half price during the cook off and we’ll use them at the rodeo too, so I figured using a few would be okay. First we went on the ginormous Ferris wheel (J come on here and insert a picture of it if you still have it)

With pleasure, my dear. Who can resist feeling like they got to sneak into someone else’s blog? This first picture is walking up to the Ferris Wheel, and the second is the view of the carnival, from (almost) the top of the wheel. See you all later!!!

Seriously, like 17 1/2 stories tall, Sophia and Nicholas were completely unfazed by this altitude. Sophia kept saying, “Ohhhhh, pretty lights!” and Nicholas just giggled a lot and tried to stand up a freak Mere and me out. Next, Nicholas insisted on riding the giant swings, I was really nervous about this because 1) he barely meets the 42″ height requirement and 2) what if he completely freaks out? So, I talked with the operator and he said at the first sign of him freaking he would stop it and I explained to Nicholas that even if he didn’t like it, it would take awhile to get it to stop. Nicholas assured me he would be fine and he would love it, so I decided to ride on the swing in front of him so he could see me the whole time and talk to me. We started going and he was like, “ohhhhh” and then we started going faster and he was like “ahhhhh” and then he I asked him if he was okay and he was screaming with laughter and said, “Mom, I’m flying!!!!” He was ecstatic, it was one of those moments that you are so happy to be a mom because he discovered something and I got to witness it. So, not being able to top flying we headed over to the giant slide so Sophia could ride another ride, on our way there Nicholas started complaining about his throat hurting, then he turned to all out freak out mode and I quickly got him a water and realized the sore throat was from him having his mouth wide open and screaming on the swings. I had to explain to him to close his mouth next time. So we eventually made it to the slide and Sophia barely made the cutoff height to ride with me, the only thing is that in order to ride this slide you have to walk up it alone, no holding children (which is totally understandable since it is 5 stories high and falling while holding a child could be catastrophic). Sophia took like 10 minutes to get to the top, luckily no one was behind us trying to rush us. We get to the top and Sophia is laughing her head off she is so excited about this huge slide, we line up and take off, Mere won and then Nicholas and then Sophia and I, Sophia loved it! So we figured that was enough excitement for one night and we should head back to say goodbye to my parents and get the kids home but on our way back Nicholas spotted this “roller coaster” that he wanted to ride so after much begging (I didn’t want to go since Sophia couldn’t go) I gave in and rode with him while Mere and Sophia watched. Once again he wasn’t scared at all, he said he can’t wait till he comes back with Princess because he wants to take her on it too. All in all tonight was great, the kids were good and I had fun. Mere spoiled Nicholas (she bought him a $10 light saber and then gave him $10 cash because he asked her for it, who does that?) but she always does, Sophia showered Mere with love, which if you know Sophia is a big deal, and I got to hang out with Mere, which I haven’t done in way too long. I can’t wait to tell you about tomorrow night, lord only knows what is to come. So, for tonight I will bid you adieu. Come home soon, I miss you Allie!

Today is going to be a good day.

I know this because today is the day I go to Houston! I’m leaving in a few hours and I still have to get Sophia and I packed, we all have to be ready for the cook off tonight when we leave because we won’t have time to get ready once we get there, and I have to get the oil changed in the Hyundai. I have to stop by J’s house too since I borrowed one of her hoodies and she left the other at my house yesterday, I don’t want to leave her with no hoodies, its supposed to be chilly this weekend.
So much to do, so little time. So, I’m going to go but I’ll try and write in the morning and tell you about all the weird food I’m going to eat tonight. If I’m not able to post tomorrow then I’ll leave it to my wonderful friend J to guest blog for me. Toodles and everyone have a good weekend, I know I will.

I suck ass!!!

Well, I took my midterm after studying for hours upon hours and I got a 60. I am so upset, I literally cried. I have no chances of getting an A in this class and my chances of a B are looking pretty grim. This test should have been open book or less detailed. I don’t know anyone that can remember all the specifics of Newton’s laws, Kirchoff’s laws and Kepler’s laws. He told us we would need to memorize all formulas so I spent a great deal of time memorizing them and then come to find out, he gave them to us anyway. I know a lot of people will be very pleased about this but for someone that went and put forth the effort, this is very unnerving. What’s worse is that I can’t even sit here and wallow in my disappointment, I have 2 days to finish this week’s work so I can go to Houston this weekend. My only consolation is that come Thursday I will be sitting at our booth at the cook-off drinking very strong margaritas and eating copious amounts of barbecue, Thursday can’t come soon enough.